To See or not to See

March 25, 2016

Before the internet complains that I have an opinion let me state for the record, yes I do in fact prefer Marvel over DC. That isn't to say I don't like DC, I just don't like them as much, especially when it comes to their movies. Batman aside DC just can't seem to make a coherent narrative that at least half the people who saw it could agree that it was more good than bad.

I love Superman, I think he's a great character. He can beat Goku in a fight any day, every day, all day, (yeah fucking come at me internet.) but Warner Bros. can't make a good Superman movie period. Either they try to make a movie shoehorned into the Christopher Reeve Superman series, which by the way only has one good movie out of four. A movie that has such contrivances to make it fit into the Reeve movies, but at the same time adding other contrivances, namely Superman having a fucking kid no damn reason, that also remove it from the Reeve movies.

Or they make a movie that is more spectacle than substance with unwelcome Christian overtones that have no place within the Superman mythos. Let me say this as frankly as I possibly can. SUPERMAN IS NOT FUCKING JESUS! Superman was created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster two incredibly Jewy Jews in the 1930's where Jews often had trouble finding work in more traditional occupations at the time, with is why many of them found work in the new and growing entertainment industries, but I digress. Superman is not Jesus, if you have to draw parallels from any Biblical figure he is Moses, given up by his birth parents in the hopes that he could find a better life. A parallel made more solid if you add in the Superboy comics where Clark Kent and Lex Luthor were initially friends as children, paralleling Moses and Ramses, but again I digress.

I was tentatively interested in Batman v Superman, then the second trailer came out, the trailer that showed the reveal of dead General Zod becoming Doomsday, Superman and Batman's fight being interrupted by Doomsday, Wonder Woman showing up out of nowhere blocking an attack from Doomsday, then the three of them silently agreeing that they now have a common enemy and must work together to defeat him. In other words, Bigger Jaws. After I saw this trailer all my desire to see this movie was gone. I felt like I already saw the movie. Doomsday was too good a reveal to give away in the trailer. Pretty much everyone assumed something would happen in the movie to convince Batman and Superman to inevitably join forces, what that was, was the biggest mystery they had, and to just give it away in my opinion took all the momentum that movie had coming leading up to release. But don't worry Zack Snyder says they still have another big reveal. Here's the reveal, and I'm not going to even say spoilers because anyone who knows anything about Superman and Doomsday can hazard a guess as to what that reveal is. SUPERMAN DIES! Gasp, they put in the character that exists only to kill Superman, and Superman dies, I am surprised.

Now, I have not seen this movie yet, I plan to see it eventually, for the same reasons stated in today's comic, but if I am wrong, and Superman does not die I will publicly apologize in comic form on Tuesday.