The Life and Times of the 3DS.
September 16, 2011
Oh 3DS, you are another shining example of a product released too early. Though you don't have programing errors, your error is that you don't have any decent programs to run. Since launch I have owned my 3DS and in those six months I have purchased one game for it, Ocarina of Time 3D, and that I bought three months after the I bought the system itself.
Second Panel, with the announcement of Sony's new portable, the Vita, and the fact that it too will be priced also at $250, though a $300+ 3G model will be released as well, but I digress. I can only assume Nintendo saw that Sony's handheld was going to seriously compete with them and lowered the price of the 3DS an unprecedented 32% in less than five months since it's release. On a side note Nintendo has said anyone who purchased a 3DS beforre the August 20, price drop would be reimbursed to the tune of then free NES and 10 free GBA virtual console titles, which in my opinion is awesome. What isn't awesome is the next panel.
In today's age of 3D gaming, and by 3D I mean 3D poligonal graphics, vs 2D sprites. Developers quickly learned that these game control best with one analog stick controlling movement of the player, and a second for the movement of the camera. Case and point, at launch the Playstation controller was just a D-pad and face and shoulder buttons, but by the end the standard controller had the two analog sticks, and the Playstation Controller, for the most partt has stayed the same ever since. The 3DS has an analog thumbpad, which truthfully works and feels wonderful. Fuck glasses free 3D, in my opinion the real marvel of the 3DS is that thumbpad. However there is only one, the Vita however will have two. Time for Nintendo to have a minor panic attack. But no fear! the 3DS shall have a second stick! In the form of a weird ass attachment that hangs off the 3DS like and asymmetric carbuncle. And here's the thing, You know damn well in a few months time Nintendo is just gonna release a new version of the 3DS with a built in second thumbpad. You know it's going to happen. I'll say here and now, come next E3 they will have announced the device I show in the fourth panel, and that's exactly what it will look like, and I will buy it, because apparently I'm a moron.