Happy Columbus/Leif Ericson/Some Chinese Guy in a Boat/Native Americans Were Already Here Day.
October 10, 2011
Excuse me please as I reminisce on days gone by. I don’t know what it’s like now, but back in my day, third grade history we learned about Christopher Columbus. In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. The Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria, and all that good stuff. We learned it, we were tested on it, and all was good with the world. Then one day, some time in the nineties the Society of Historic Shenanigans gathered together and all decided as a group that they’d all take a collective shit on poor Chris.
Now don’t get me wrong, Christopher Columbus in no way shape or form discovered America, but for some reason around this time of the year the History Channel feels the need to run special, after special discrediting Columbus. Yeah Leif Ericson landed somewhere in Newfoundland around 1000 AD, and yeah Asian migrations were possible from the land bridge between Russia and Alaska in the past, or could have made it on a boat. One thing Columbus did the those guys didn’t was actually go back. He returned to Europe and established important trade routes that would become key to colonizing the New World. Sure the moron refused to admit he found a New World and instead believed he landed in the East Indies, but he still did it damn it! I don’t see you doing that shit!
But then again I think we’re all forgetting the most important point. No matter who discovered America first, today’s a day off … … … for some people at least.