“So what’s that?” asked Lil’ D as I came in from getting the mail holding one of those flat, padded manila envelopes made for mailing documents.
“I don’t know,” I answered. “It’s address to me from Jim from the pub.”
“It must be the entry form for the battle of the bands,” deduced Siren.
“Pretty big for an entry form,” I replied. “Guess we won’t know until we open it.” I then tore into the envelope and pulled from it a plethora of forms and papers. One stuck out like a sore thumb, a neatly stapled document about a dozen pages long.
“Well what is it?” asked Lil’ D.
“The set list for the battle of the bands,” I said as I handed the list to Siren.
“Holy crap! There’s got to be over fifty songs on this thing,” blurted Siren as she flipped through the list.
“Eighty
four to be exact,” I said now reading from a booklet explaining the
rules and format of the battle. “We should call Billy, seems this
thing is going to be more complicated than Jim made it out to be.”
So we set the papers aside and waited for Billy to show, it didn’t take long though. Apparently Billy told his boss that he was just going off on assignment, which I suppose wasn’t a complete lie. When he finally got here about half and hour after we called him we all sat down and I went over the rules.
“You guys ready for this?” I said as I dropped into an armchair I had turned so I could face the other three, sitting on the couch.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” said Lil’ D.
“All right then,” I said and than began to read. “Thank you for entering the first ever battle of the vans, sponsored by…”
“You can probably just skip that part,” interjected Billy. “Just read the rules.
“Yeah you’re right,” I agreed and then began to read again. “The battle will take place over the course of three days. Day one, and two, Friday July 3rd and Saturday July 4th will consist of a divisional tournament, to be held at Boston Common.”
“They’re having it at the Common?” said Lil’ D in disbelief. “Now I know why the entry fee is five hundred bucks, half of that’s probably going to paying for the venue.”
“We you didn’t expect them to have dozens of bands all paying at The Establishment all at the same time did you?” explained Billy. “How’d we all fit?”
“Yeah, you’re right,” said Lil’ D. “Sorry Ryle, keep going.
“All bands participating will be randomly set into one of four divisions. Each band will play against each other band in their division in a single song head to head challenge.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t sound complicated at all,” said Lil’ D.
“Shh, there’s more. Stop interrupting.” added Siren.
“Head to head challenges will be handled as such,” I continued reading. “A song will be chosen from the supplied set list at random. Each band will then have to perform the chosen song after which one band will be declared the winner by a panel of judges. Once each band has played every other band from their division the highest scoring band from each division will go on to the finals on day three.”
“What are we, cricket teams?” asked Billy.”
“More like Baseball teams, you’re in America after all,” I said correcting Billy. “But you’re right it seems they modeled the tournament after a sports season.”
“How does day three work then?” asked Siren.
“The finals will be held at The Establishment on day three, Sunday July 5th,”I read. “In the finals each remaining band will have to play a four song set list again made from songs randomly chosen from the provided set list. The order in which the bands perform will be decided randomly. Additionally no band will have to play to the same song more than once, so any songs that band played during the first round will not be in their pool of random songs. Each band will be able to veto a song once during their set if they so choose, in which case a new song will be chosen which the band will then have to play. Once a band has finished their four song set they will then play an encore which can be any song of they chose.”
“So the finals are completely different,” said Lil’ D.
“I don’t think any sport works that way,” added Billy.
“So how is the winner chosen then?” asked Siren.
“Here we go,” I said finding the appropriate part. “The winner will be chosen by popular decision of the people attending the event.”
“Nice, power to the people,” said Lil’ D.
“Yeah, and it seems with a completely random set of songs winning over the crowd might be a simple matter of getting the right song,” said Billy. “I mean have you had time to really look at this set list? It has songs spanning pretty much every genre of rock in the past fifty years. Better hope we get Aqualung at some point, that’s on the list and I know we can play that.”
“Yeah I know, and some songs are definitely going to be easier than others, I mean Eye of the Tiger vs. Battery? I’d give the points to someone who fails the play Battery over some one with succeeds at Eye of the Tiger any day,” I said.
“Yeah getting songs that we can play well while still being songs the crowd will like is going to be the key to winning it seems,” said Siren.
“I think the encore is going to be the key,” I said. “I mean it’s a song of our choosing, so we better make it a song we totally and completely rock at.”
“Exactly,” said Billy, still looking over the list. “And to be honest, looking at this list I know how to play over half these songs.”
“Yeah me too,” seconded Lil’ D.
“Me too, said Siren. “And looking up and learning the words for the others shouldn’t be too hard.”
“So then each of us can play over half the list individually,” I said, thinking out loud. “So chances are few songs we’ll have to learn from scratch, and I know a good amount of those songs we have played before, whether during practice or at a show. So when you think about it, we’re not completely at a disadvantage here. I mean don’t get me wrong we’re gonna need a bit of luck, and a lot of practice.”
“Lots
of practice,” repeated Lil’ D. “Eighty four songs of practice.”
That’s
what we did, every spare moment we had during the days leading up to
the battle we practiced. Whether we were all together or just playing
by ourselves, we all practiced our parts, trying the best we could to
teach the others the songs I knew, as they tried to teach me the ones
I didn’t. As the June rolled into July Billy had started crashing
on the couch just to make full band practices easier to pull off. The
apartment had become littered with piles and piles of guitar, bass and
drum tabs. Siren, whenever she wasn’t practicing with one or all of
us had her headphones on listening over and over again to a certain
eighty four song track list.
Then
it came, July 3rd the first day of the battle. When all the
practicing was said and done we could play pretty much every single
song on the list, to some degree at least. The important fact is that
we had vanquished well over half the list. We had made had made sixty
three songs on that list our bitch. The other twenty one we had some
concerns about, and about three of them we just prayed to the Gods of
rock we didn’t get them. Like I said, we were going to need a little
luck to win this, but you know what, so does everyone else.
We packed up our gear and lugged it onto the subway, for hopefully the last time. When we got to The Commons it was buzzing with activity. Half a dozen different stages dotted the common ready to be rocked upon, and hundreds of people were entering, ready to be rocked.
“Ok, and what band are you?” asked one of the guys checking people at the entrances to the park. I recognized him as on of the employees at The Establishment from the few times I played there.
“We’re Bleve 186,” I said to him.
“Bleve 186, Bleve 186,” he said aloud that why you do while you’re looking for something on a list. “Ah, there you are, you’re all paid up. Go over there to one of the registration tables, you’ll get seeded in a division there,” he said pointing over at the registration area. When we made it to the registration area and saw the first free person there I was quite surprised to say the least.
“Kelsi?” I said in disbelief. I hadn’t seen or spoken to her since that day back at my apartment. “What are you doing here, are you performing?”
“No,” answered Kelsi. She only said a word, and yet I could tell she still had a grudge against me, what she said next cemented that suspicion. “Our bassist threw a hissy fit and hasn’t shown up for months, so no I’m not performing, just working to earn a little extra money. What are you doing here?”
“I’m performing,” I said, as if it wasn’t obvious enough by all the gear me, and three people with me were carrying.
“What?” said Kelsi in annoyance. “Didn’t take you long to find a new band, then again is suppose it wasn’t too hard, bassists are pretty much interchangeable after all.”
“Then how come you haven’t found a new one yet?” quipped Siren coming to my defense. Kelsi stared at her, trying to remember where she knew her.
“I remember you,” she said when she figured it out. “You’re that stuck up bitch that said our school was cheap hiring us. What are you doing with her Ryle?”
“I’m the vocalist,” replied Siren.
“Ah, I see, good luck with that,” Kelsi said mockingly, she then paused recognizing another member of my new band. “Billy Bluejeans, don’t tell me, you’re the guitarist.”
“Indeed I am,” responded Billy. “Do any work on improving your drumming lately?”
“My drumming doesn’t need any improving,” snapped Kelsi. “I hope for your sake the same can be said for the little one over there, seeing that she must be your drummer.”
“She does need improvement,” I said. “But she knows that, and works at it. Maybe if you did that we’d you’d be here instead of her. Now, if you please, can we just get registered?”
“Whatever,” scoffed Kelsi, rolling her eyes. “What’s your band’s name?”
“Bleve 186,” I said.
“Bleve 186, that’s a stupid name,” said Kelsi.
“Like Valefor was any better,” retorted Siren.
“Whatever,” Kelsi scoffed again as she looked us up on the computer set up on the table. “You’re in division D, you can start setting up on stage three, now get a move on, you’re holding up the line.”
We
gladly moved on our way, when we were far away enough that she was sure
Kelsi wouldn’t overhear Siren said to me, “I think I understand
now way you left.”
We were in division D, along with seven other bands, thirty two bands in total. Lucky for them, they ended up getting a number divisible by four, makes the divisions all neat and ordered. So eight bands in the division, and four divisions that means in the next two days two hundred twenty four songs were going to be played. Now I know why they went with an eighty four song set list. The judges just didn’t want to get bored. Two hundred twenty four songs, of all of them we only cared about seven, the ones we’d be playing, and in a few moments we’ll know what the first one will be.
“The song in the D division between Sgt. Rock and Bleve 186,” began one of the judges. “Will be Battery, by Metallica. Bleve 186 will play first.”
Well this is starting off awesome, right off the bat we get one of the hardest songs on their list. We could play it, just not very good. The beginning started off fine, it’s slow and easy, but it’s just the thin sugar sweet coating that hides the molten metal center. I could tell Billy was fumbling a note here and there. I was guilty of the same. Lil’ D tried her best to keep the beat on her drums, if only she had a second bass drum, everyone knows Metallica songs need two bass drums to be played properly. Siren was having her difficulties too. This was definitely not the type of song her voice was suited for. She was better at, well, singing. No offense to James Hetfield.
After
the tedious five minutes of the song were over we received little applause
from the crowd that had gathered by the stage. Then again I wasn’t
expecting much. The judges then carefully wrote down their notes and
talked amongst themselves. We did bad, and I knew it, we we’re just
waiting for them to let us know what they thought. However they instead
asked for Sgt. Rock to start playing. That’s right too, we’re not
being judged by our own skills in this round, we’re being judged against
our opponent. Here’s for hoping that they suck. Oh and suck they did,
not that we did that much better than them, but they clearly had more
trouble then we did. In the end we won that round, didn’t feel like
we earned it, but a win’s a win.
The
rest of the day went better. Our next few songs were much easier than
our first one. Today, by the Smashing Pumpkins, The Middle, by Jimmy
Eat World and That’s What You Get, by Paramore, one of my favorite
songs on the set list, and I’m not afraid to admit that. We won them
all in glorious rocking fashion. With our fourth song under our belts
we all thought we’d be done for day one, but they managed to squeeze
one more song out of us with the time remaining. Float On, by Modest
Mouse, which like the last three songs, we handled it expertly. By the
time day one had come to a close Bleve 186 was batting a thousand. With
five wins and no losses not only were we winning our division we had
the best record of all the thirty two bands participating. We only had
two songs to play tomorrow, and all we had to do was win at least one
to clinch a spot in the finals. We were indeed floating on.
Day two came and we got to the Common bright and early. We checked in at the gate with one of the Establishment employees, and thankfully we didn’t need to go to registration this time, so chances of running into Kelsi were slim. When we were called up to play our sixth song we were still in the lead, but Sgt. Rock was nipping at our heels with a record of five and one, their only loss of course coming from us. As we stood on stage facing down our next opponent Kontüshin, a generic metal band, that sounded generically metal. They played fast and hard, and the only way the vocalist knew how to sing was with what I could best describe as a guttural screaming moan. They were winless so far. I suppose no one wants to hear a death metal version of Hungry Like the Wolf. Needless to say we were pretty confident that after this song we’d be in the finals. Then we heard what song we’d be playing.
“In
the D Division the song between Bleve 186 and Kontüshin will be Souls
of Black, by Testament,” said one of the judges. Kontüshin let out
a war cry that I can only assume was out of happiness. They’re apparent
strength was our glaring weakness. I guess if Bleve 186 is going to
the finals, we weren’t going undefeated.
Our
morale took a bit of a hit after that, for the first time since after
our first song victory wasn’t in clear sight. There were two songs
left to be played in our division, one with us and the other featuring
Sgt. Rock. Both our opponents had been eliminated by this point, and
while we had the advantage Sgt. Rock was still in it. They needed us
to lose and then win their own song to push a tie breaker. The possibility
of us all going home empty handed was, well, possible.
When Sgt. Rock was called to play their last song we rushed to the stage almost as fast as they did. This song was just as important to us as it was for them. Their opponent was Kontüshin and even though they had just whipped our ass we knew that chances are that Sgt. Rock would be winning this one. But then lightning struck twice.
“In the D Division the song between Kontüshin and Sgt. Rock will be,” said the judge. The pause between his words seemed like an eternity. “Painkiller, by Judas Priest.” Kontüshin let out a similar war cry as last time, and we couldn’t help but join in. Looks like it doesn’t matter what we get for our last song, Bleve 186 is going to the finals.